Chiropractors: The Scourge of...Everywhere

My wife and I took the kids to a local farm the other day. This is one of those places where they decide to open it up to the public and make a little cake on the side that way. It's a lot of fun for the kids. They have animals to view and pet and feed, a bakery, even a haunted house. When you leave, you grab a pumpkin and you've had yourself a fun time.

We walked in and saw the chickens and goats and my son and youngest daughter really enjoyed sitting in the local Fire Company's pumper truck. Then we walked across a little drive where the food and some more animals are located. Right in the entrance way was a tent with a special chair and three jerk-offs in scrubs: a chiropractic office right up Uncle Jed's alley.

I turned to my wife and said, "These guys will set themselves up anywhere!" And it's really true. You can't go to a fair, home show, bazaar or even a line of shitters outside of a concert without a chiropractor trying to sell his craft.

Now, I have no problem with carny acts. In fact, I'm a big fan. I think there's nothing better than someone blatantly ripping off some idiot with three cups and a ball bearing. It's hilarious to me. But somewhere deep down in my soul is a true hatred for chiropractors.

Their act is not unlike the three card monte dealer, but it seems a bit more seedy when you're being given a fancy back massage by a guy with a doctorate and a cow is shitting fifteen feet away. It's snake oil salesmen stuff to me.

And I think some of these guys are a bit on the perverted side. My wife used to go years ago to help with a back injury she received as a kid. After only a session or two, she asked me to sit in there with her because she felt very uncomfortable with the guy. He was in his fifties and he made ME feel a bit uneasy; what with his weird pervert smile and eager hands.

I guess there's nothing intrinsically wrong with chiropractic; I've read both sides of the argument and I think that the art is sometimes necessary. I just don't like having to walk down the midway and hear, "Try to win a teddy bear for the lady, sir?"; "Knock down the bottles, win a prize!"; and then, "How'd you like some help with that posture, sir? Ever been to a chiropractor?" Yick.